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[personal profile] kasuchans
Hello there, unspecified entity. I'm Kasu, and there are a few things you might want to know about me:

Well, where to start... Okay. I've been in fandom for a year and a half, and RPF for a year. I started in anime/manga, moved to video games, discovered RPF (first AI, then bandom, then figure skating via the 2010 Winter Olympics, and a bit of actorslash through Inception), and segwayed into TV via House and Glee and movies via Inception. I'm a ficcer, an occasional artist, a picspammer, a reccer, and a comment whore, both giving and receiving. My journal? Contains the ramblings, rants, and artistic creations of the entity that is Kasu.

I am a gender-fluid, pansexual, female-born girlfag. I usually identify as a girl, so female pronouns are fine, but I do appreciate it when people use gender-neutrals. I co-mod [livejournal.com profile] gender_fluid for other non-binaries like me, so you're welcome to check it out.

What is not welcome here is hate speech. Sexist, genderist, ablist, racist, homphobic, transphobic, biphobic, misogyny, religion-ist, you name it. I am a huge feminists, gay rights supporter, and non-binary crusader, as well as being very religious (I'm Catholic and proud), and prejudices, biases, and hate speech are some of the worst things in the world. If you say anything offensive/stereotyping in my journal, and do not take it down and apologize when asked to do so, you will be banned. No exceptions.

Also, I think that I may have (but have not ever been diagnosed with) slight ADD, OCD, depression, and bipolar disorder, as well as knowing that I have terrible self-esteem issues, compunded by a crippling fear of public speaking. And I'm no stranger to suicidal feelings, either internally or those of a close friend. These issues, as well as those detailed above, are very close to me.

I work in a few fandoms, including Death Note, Naruto, Ace Attorney, The World Ends With You, House, and Glee, and a ridiculous amount of Inception, my fictional fandom of choice, but my primary is RPF. American Idol, figure skating, actorslash, and, above all, bandom. I am a bandom person at heart; my dream is to one day be up on that stage, performing for the crowds full of hundreds of people like myself. People that I can mean something to. I want to be an idol, to be a leader, to be a role model.

On that note, there are several people that I adore in my fandoms. Mello, Matt, Deidara, Itachi, Sakura, Edgeworth, Adrian, Engarde, Klavier, Lang, Wilson, Jesse, Kurt. These are all characters whom I either adore or would bang in a heartbeat, or both. But the real people whom I love, it's not as simple. I never love someone just for their looks. The ones I do love (Adam Lambert, Johnny Weir, Lady GaGa, Pete Wentz, Cillian Murphy, Megan Fox, Gerard Way, Frank Iero, Brendon Urie, Ryan Ross), they all have some aspect of them that affects me personally. When I am reminded that these people are human, and not perfect, it physically hurts me. Especially Gerard. MCR was the first band I ever really cared about, and my introduction to bandom, so I idolized him in a way that was probably unhealthy. When I was brought wack down to earth by a blog, it hurt me. I was wrecked for a few weeks. But now, I've been able to move past it, and I still look up to him, just with a grain of salt. Because I believe in him. The only other band that I ever cared about that much was, and is, Panic! At The Disco. And because I came into their fandom after the split, I have a different viewpoint on them than most people.

In fact, I have been described as an amalgam of Gerard Way, Johnny Weir, Brendon Urie, and a bit of Ryan Ross, and I find that description rather apt. It captures my flamboyance, my performing spirit, my childishness, my self-esteem issues, and my desire to be liked, all in a few easily-recognizable names. But I prefer to not be labeled, to make my own name for myself.

I am a writer, primarily, although I will do the occasional fanart piece. And I usually write fanfiction, a complete list of which can be found here. I usually write slash, but I do write some het and some femmeslash. I'm a serial shipper as well, so although I have some I prefer to others, I wouldn't say that I have OTPs (see my profile for more in-depth coverage). If you want to get on my good side, link me some good ones, especially those in bandom.

Of course, as do most fans, I have a very strong personal canon. I think that Frank has been in love with Gerard from day one, and Gerard knew it, and was in lust with Frank, but not love. I think that they acted on it a few times, but Gerard didn't feel strongly enough to keep it up, only using him for sex because he knew Frank would always say yes. However, I don't think that Frank ever got over him, no matter how well his relationship with Jamia is doing. I also think that Pete and Mikey had a close, intense summer, but Mikey broke it off. I think that Pete really does love Ashlee, but not in the same way he did, or does, for Mikey, and then for Patrick. And lastly, I think that Panic! has had a lot more romantic drama in their history than they let on. Yes, I think there was some fumbling teenaged Spyro, but I don't think it ever amounted to anything. However, I think that Brendon and Ryan had something from the very beginning, but Brendon felt it much more strongly. I think that when they made it big, Ryan broke it off, due to either fear or confusion, and Brendon was hurt by this for a long, long time. but he never gave up, instead settling into a friendship with an underlying-but-always-ignored current of sexual tension and history, even though he never, ever stopped loving him. I think that something at the cabin set it off, and the split was due to differences in music, Ryan pulling away from those closest to him and to the new, bright, shiny people who fawned over him, and Brendon staying back just a bit too much. Ryan clearly is an attention seeker with confidence issues, so he wanted something new and exciting rather than something comfortable and stable. And in doing do, he lost those who really cared about him the most. Also, in movies (READ: Inception), I feel that Arthur and Eames had something in the past, whether it was a failed relationship attempt or a drunken fling (the latter of which is much more likely), and Eames made some stupid choice that screwed it all up, but they both have simply repressed their feelings, Arthur to seal away the hurt and Eames to seal away the rejection. And Ariadne knows it, on some level. 

Anyhow, if, after reading my ridiculous mind's spewings, you'd still like to friend me, go ahead! Drop me a comment on any entry, or here, or PM me, and if you seem cool, I'll add you back! I don't F-lock though, so you really won't miss anything either way.


on 2010-09-05 04:16 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] moshpitmurderr.livejournal.com
I love you <3

on 2010-09-05 08:17 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] kasuchans-v2.livejournal.com
Thanks. That actually means a lot to me, after your having read this. *hugs*

on 2010-09-08 10:44 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] navyclementine.livejournal.com
DUDE YOU'RE IN INCEPTION AND GLEE AND RPF AND SKATING (I'm not in skating fandom, but I have friends who are)

on 2010-09-08 10:51 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] kasuchans-v2.livejournal.com

on 2010-09-12 02:04 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] mcrnut.livejournal.com
When I am reminded that these people are human, and not perfect, it physically hurts me. Especially Gerard. MCR was the first band I ever really cared about, and my introduction to bandom, so I idolized him in a way that was probably unhealthy.

I identify with so, so much of what you've written here. Not only that but you're in the MCR, Inception, GaGa AND Glambert fandom? My only four real fandoms.

Mind a new friend?

on 2010-09-12 07:48 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] kasuchans-v2.livejournal.com
Not in the slightest? :)


on 2010-09-28 11:31 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] quinnrose.livejournal.com
Ohhai there, hun. (: I've come here to troll your page. XD Agreed to all your comments. :P

Re: ohHELLOtheredarling.

on 2010-09-28 11:46 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] kasuchans-v2.livejournal.com
Okay, hai! Um, keep the gender-sexuality stuff on the DL IRL, okay? :) Not fully out yet :/

Re: ohHELLOtheredarling.

on 2010-09-29 12:10 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] quinnrose.livejournal.com
No problemoooo. (: Not a judging person.

How the heck do you set up polls on thisssssssss thanngggg. >> XD I tried like three times and it completely hates me.

Re: ohHELLOtheredarling.

on 2010-09-29 12:59 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] kasuchans-v2.livejournal.com
Thanks. And no, I don't. :/ Sorree...

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